If you’re feeling vaguely unmoored and ever-so-slightly depressed, consider that it may be because Sunday night’s episode of Succession was the second-to-last one ever. (Yes, I am in fact screaming/crying/throwing up.) Luckily, there are still plenty of good Roy family witticisms—written by writers, not AI—to repeat to ourselves on a loop until then. Below, find a ranking of the very best lines from Season 4, Episode 9.
“He couldn’t fit a whole woman in his head”
A true moment of Shiv brilliance.
“The Roy boys versus Shiv the Shiv”
I guess we know where the battle lines are drawn for the finale!
“I am King Dong. I am the King of Dong”
Good to know that no amount of “pre-grieving” has been able to change Roman’s fundamental character.
“That was a good hard take that you gave”
That’s certainly one response to Ewan’s eulogy!
“Discord makes my dick hord”
Unfortunately, this Roman line made me laugh out loud.
“He’s now going to roll around like a labrador in a lovely pile of senators”
I missed Lady Caroline.
“It is Kerry, right? Not Kelly?”
If there’s one thing Logan Roy’s ex-wives are going to do, it’s ether the side chick.
“I’m amongst the crowning committee”
Keep telling yourself that, Greg.
“She’s going to do, what, 36 hours of maternity leave, emailing through her vanity caesarean”
Nobody is meaner to Shiv than Shiv herself.
“You’re too online, okay? You’ve lost context”
The sheer audacity of Kendall saying this to Rava…
“Marcia’s looking chic. Yummy”
If there’s one thing I love, it’s a man who commits to a bit, even if that bit is, uh, incest jokes.
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